Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Black Lumberjack

While Ronnie, Floyd, and Black Sumo were disposing the room of pimps, Black Lumberjack continued his pursuit of the Mayor. Black Lumberjack looked ahead of him...The Mayor was escaping, however a crowd of goons started to close in on him. Black Lumberjack realizes that he needs his axe. He manages to get it out of the case just as a group of 4 pimps encircle him. Black Lumberjack smiles deviously at the 4 soon to be victims.
He swings his axe at the first pimp, his arm falls to the ground.
He meets the next oncommer with a punch to the face. He finishes him off by stabbing him in the back with the tip of his axe.
He then quickly disposes of the next two with a sweeping chop. They fell down like trees....


A pimp dressed up in a dollar bill suit sees his opportunity to take Black Lumberjack out. He sneaks up on him while he is pulling his axe out one of the victim's back.

"Hey Black Lumberjack" the Dollar Bill Pimp yells.

Black Lumberjack turns around to see a gun wielding goon with a money suit aiming his gun at the Lumberjack's head. Lumberjack glares at the Pimp hoping that his stare alone could stop the bullet. Then suddenly the Dollar Bill Pimp is gone....Black Sumo just took him out with a paralyzing flying headbutt to the back and kills him. "That's for wearing that dumb ass suit!" Sumo says to the limp pimp.
"What are you doing just standing around...where's Tonya?" Black Lumberjack gives Black Sumo a smile and a nod of appreciation for saving his life.
"Now for the second time, get out of here, we got this!"

The Lumberjack nods, and then breaks into a run in pursuit of the Mayor.

He sees the Mayor frantically trying to open the back doors behind the stage. But The Mayor didn't know that Ronnie and Floyd had sealed all the exits. There was only one way that The Mayor could get out of this predicament, and that would be to get by Black Lumberjack.

"Mayor!" Black Lumberjack growled. The Mayor turns and sees Black Lumberjack standing in the doorway. "Let her go!" The Mayor now backing away from the Lumberjack pulls his gun out and put's it against Tonya's temple. "Drop your axe, and I'll let her go."
Black Lumberjack holds his arms in the air to show he would comply with the Mayor. He puts the axe on the ground slowly and kicks it in front of the Mayor.

"Now your turn...Let her go!"

The Mayor shoves Tonya away, she then runs towards Black Lumberjack with tears running down her face. Then a shot rings out...Tonya lets out a scream, and falls to the ground before she could even reach him.
Black Lumberjack yells, clenches his fists and is now staring at The Mayor who is now aiming his gun at the Lumberjack.

"Did you think that I would just let you have her? Not after the heroics that you pulled tonight." "I wanted you to know that she was mine, and only mine."

Black Lumberjack sees a smoke bomb on the ground behind a stage prop. He knows that a bullet will be coming any second. He dives for the smoke bomb. The Mayor sends two gunshots his way trying to hit the fleeing Lumberjack. Black Lumberjack manages to get behind the prop and grabs the smoke bomb. He throws it in the Mayors direction. The room fills up with a thick gloom. Black Lumberjack crawls along the floor in search of his axe.
Meanwhile, The Mayor begins to blindly flail at the air trying to find someone to shoot. He trips over a crawling Black Lumberjack and falls over. Black Lumberjack realizes this and pounces on top of him. Black Lumberjack grabs his hand with the gun and tries knocking it out of his hand. Another gun shot rings out. It hits neither of them.
Black Lumberjack forces the gun out of the Mayor's hands and then gets the Mayor in submission.
Black Lumberjack then begins to punch the Mayor continuously in his face. Black Lumberjack's anger is felt with each punch. "This man killed Tonya!" was all that Black Lumberjack could think. He kept punching the Mayor in his face. Soon The Mayor's body was lifeless. But Black Lumberjack kept punching. Not knowing that the Pimp was already dead. He is suddenly pulled off The Mayor by Black Sumo.

Black Sumo tells him, "It's over man...The Mayor is dead."

"He shot her...He killed Tonya." Black Lumberjack whispered between breaths.

"Hey guys, over here, come quick!" Floyd yells
Ronnie and Floyd were on the floor by Tonya who was now sitting up. The bullet only grazed her! Black Lumberjack runs over to where the three are sitting. He grabs Tonya and holds her. "I'm okay", she tells him. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, baby!" Black Lumberjack picks up Tonya and carries her out of the building.. Ronnie, Floyd and Black Sumo follow.

"Later suckas!" Black Sumo yells to all the lifeless bodies. Ronnie makes a molotov cocktail and throws it on the stage.

"Just cleaning up the mess..." he says.

The friends walk outside to where Black Lumberjack and Tonya are waiting. It's a couple hours until morning. "I feel like celebrating!" Black Sumo shouts..."Who's with me?" Ronnie and Floyd agree to go.
"What about you bro?" Black Sumo asks Black Lumberjack.

Black Lumberjack and Tonya look at each other, she is smiling at him.

Black Lumberjack tells them, "Sorry guys, Don't want to dissapoint you, but I think the two of us are just going to celebrate at home."
Black Lumberjack thanks the guys for all their help, and Tonya gives Black Sumo, and the two brothers warm hugs. Then the two of them jump into the Escalade and drive back to the cabin.

The two of them would be happy for now, but in the back of his mind, Black Lumberjack knew their happiness wouldn't last...

6 comments:

Matt said...

This action is without precedent on Fresh Nugget. The violence and tenderness are over the top and it closes with a sad realization. Super!

Evan said...

Booya. Simply Booya.

Transplants said...

I LOVE the return of the dollar bill suit pimp! This was an impressive ending! Awesome drawings!

KtOSh307 said...

Wonderful, just wonderful. I have tears in my eyes. I am so happy that BLJ and friends got the job done!

Scoper said...

"...the limp pimp" brilliant. I'm sad to see it end, but I'm rooting for a spin off.

IBerg said...

Absolutely EPIC!